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Review: The 2016 Oscars Red Carpet Fashion

It’s that time of the year when actors and actresses descend upon the usually stinky Hollywood Boulevard to dress up and accept little gold statues. Glam, right? Well, the red carpet usually is. Let’s see what we’ve got this year on the Oscars red carpet…

If the little mice in Cinderella had only a pot of potpourri to work with this is what old Cinders would have headed to the ball in. Just kidding Armani, Cate Blanchett looks pretty as a blue peach in her floral gown with Tiffany & Co diamonds and Roger Vivier clutch. Not her best but an A for effort.

Ooh la la J-Law, all the old men at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences were probably tisk-tisk-ing her for wearing something so sheer on the carpet but I love it. Just enough peak-a-boo skin to keep it sexy yet classy. It’s Dior (duh) accessorised with Chopard jewels (duh).

Our other Dior princess who rocked the red carpet in, well, red was our meisie Charlize Theron. The simplicity of this gown is what makes it dazzling. Clearly the plunging neckline was a trend this year. Harry Winston put a ring on it too. And a necklace. And earrings.

Best Actress winner, Brie Larson, donned a cobalt blue Gucci gown to accept her nod and I have to admit… I don’t think it was worthy. From the waist up… perfection! From the waist down… it’s a pleated hot mess. What are those? Tentacles? Tendrils? Off cuts because they ran out of material? At least the camera focuses on an Medium Close Up when you crying while accepting your Oscar.

Apparently the green was planned and Irish actress Saoirse Ronan donned this Calvin Klein Collection to represent her home nation. Ah sweet man! That really cool nod for her home country aside, she looks spectacular in this heavily embellished emerald gown and the colour suits her skin tone and hair perfectly. Blondes, take note.

Va va voom! Who knew leather could be a thing at the Oscars? Kerry Washington owned this Atelier Versace gown in what I hope was silent fashion rebellion. You don’t often see this at the oscars. I do feel the thick straps overpower her small frame but that can be forgiven as this monochrome Versace made a powerful statement. Harry Winston was a girl’s best friend in this instance.

Disclaimer: Rooney Mara can do no wrong in my eyes. If anyone else even attempted to wear this Givenchy Haute Couture by Riccardo Tischi gown they would fail. It fits her like a glove. The slit balances the sleeves effectively and proves that the youngest Mara sister knows how to work a red carpet.

No sequins? No neon colours? No masks? No meat? Could this be Gaga all grown up?! This is a knock-out look from Stefani and designer Brandon Maxwell who opted for a jumpsuit with voluminous train. This is, in my very humble opinion, a fashion moment to remember.

If most of us tried to don an embellished, floral, lace red gown on the (already) red carpet we would look like granny’s old curtains circa 1960. If we tried to do this while pregnant, people in the street would stop, stare and start throwing inanimate objects at us. But through some fashion miracle, Chrissy Teigen can achieve this unachievable goal and look phenomenal in a Marchesa gown. She has rocked the carpet this award’s season and has proven that being pregnant is not a fashion disability. PS: she follows me on Twitter therefore I am cool by association. You can also do so, here. Yes, that was a shameless plug and I don’t care because this is my website 🙂

Naomi Watts brought the technicolour in Giorgio Armani Privé with accessories by Bulgari. Well done to her hair stylist who kept her a-symmetrical bob simple in contrast to much that was going on in the dress and jewellery department.

Everyone bow down to the Duchess! I guess Margot Robbie felt like she needed to be there for her boo, Leo, in case he didn’t win AGAIN and she decided to dress like a golden statue herself. This Diane von Furstenberg creation is sublime and once again the plunging neckline is the way to go.

Another simple look tonight that was all about the colour came in the form of this Stella McCartney gown worn by Olivia Munn. Her dark hair and that burnt orange colour are how you get it right! The interesting neckline adds for an interesting detail with an almost extended cap sleeve becoming a vital feature to what could have been a boring gown. Forevermark provided the glitter.

OH Olivia you darling you! Thank you Valentino for this gown. And well done to Olivia Wilde’s stylist who balanced many vertical lines with a horizontal Neil Lane choker and created some interesting shapes on this goddess’ frame. Do I spot a braid in her hair? So New York and London Fashion Week right now…

Best Supporting Actress Winner, Alicia Vikander, looked youthful in a butter yellow custom Louis Vuitton. The billowing bubble skirt was definitely a statement – whether it was the right one for the Oscars is debatable but snaps for Alicia for taking a gamble. I think she may just have won. That was a pun. And that rhymed.

Most will probably disagree with me but I really love Amy Poehler in Paris based designer, Andrew Gn. The cape is gorgeous and her styling is demure to compliment a busy dress palette.

I call this next section: “When bad gowns happen to good actresses”. And the nominees are:

Kate Winslet in Ralph Lauren in what I would describe as a shiny (very expensive) black bag, You know, the ones you line your bin with? Sorry Kate…

You must know that a gown is over designed when even the statuesque Heidi Klum can’t make it look good. This Marchesa gown has it ALL: a flower, multi-coloured material, peasant sleeve, cut-out detail, a-symmetrical neckline, tulle… OK I’m tired now. And Georgina Chapman… I’m not angry, just disappointed.

That brings the awards season red carpet to a close. So until next time…


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